1. Early Communication (Guidance and LISTENING)
Early discussion with your children, listening to them, talking to them, and exposing them to different opportunities will help them both understand their opportunities and probably reduce the stress caused by the need (perceived and social) to go to college.
Listen to them, understand what they are saying and feel. It’s too easy to project what you want or expect onto them, or their friends’ goals, which can create a bad emotional drag. Listen.
2. Prevent Disengagement
Traditionally, students encounter career exploration opportunities in high school and a lot even as late as their 2-3rd year of college. However, research has shown that young people begin forming their career expectations much earlier.
In 2020 more than 2 million young people dropped out of high school. Not obtaining a high school diploma has lifelong consequences, including lower income potential and a higher risk of chronic unemployment.
Studies have found that signs of disengagement in middle school correlate with a higher risk of leaving high school. During middle school, students face a myriad of challenges, including increased feelings of self-consciousness and peer pressure. Middle schoolers who struggle academically may lose enthusiasm for their future.
3. Communicate and Create Eye-opening Opportunities:
Give them a chance to think on their own and explore different possibilities. Absent playing video games, ask them what they want to do that is productive and interesting for over the summer.
If you are fortunate to have money, then this can be done via specific programs for different skills. But eye-opening isn’t restricted to those with wealth. This can be done by either summer jobs, skill summer schools and/or external programs that many libraries, community organizations and vocational schools have. Also – ask people – you’d be surprised how many people are willing to offer “tag along” opportunities to youngsters.
4. Widen Career Possibilities
Exposure to professional trade programs (AC Technician, Plumbing, any of the trades) will relieve some of this peer pressure.
It doesn’t have to be the trade skills area either. Many sales careers, restaurant work, community work) don’t require a collegiate degree. They offer a different and possibly just a lucrative path than what people consider skilled.
In these times with a shortage of labor in the trade industries, as well as an oversupply of college educated people (who today might have jobs – but are first cut in a slowdown), maybe a grass roots training is better.
The same thing applies like I wrote above. Ask for a tag along. People care but you if you don’t ask, your children won’t have the chance. This is a case where you might have to do “the ask” because your child might be intimidated a young age. Open the door for them, search and ask.
5. Understand Your Children Aren’t You
What you’ve done or achieved in your life isn’t what your child needs or wants to do. I can think of so many children of “skilled” parents (doctors, dentists, accountants, lawyers, managers of large corporations, even CEO’s) who have such lofty goals for their children. Maybe you want them to do like you did – good grades, extra interests, good college, and a career path after 4 years or college and maybe 4 years of grad school.
This isn’t the path for everyone. Understand early on that your children aren’t you. Don’t put your expectations on them. Accept different paths.